I know I’m not the only one that has become so addicted to technology. Smart phones has made it more and more challenging to be present, REALLY present, wherever I am and with whomever I’m with. Posting images to Facebook, responding to DM’s on Instagram, Snapchatting senior sessions, replying to emails, uploading client’s galleries, texting friends and family and making future plans with people, opening up FB to send a joke to someone, posting something about my boys, writing this blog post… and the list goes on. I’m on it a lot. And even though when the boys or home it’s 30 seconds here, a few minutes there, it consumes much of my day.
When the boys get home from school, I’m still hopping on a few minutes to send out a contract or texting a friend. All of that is ok as long as you have good boundaries and it’s not excessive. I don’t think the time I spend on it is excessive when I’m trying to enjoy the few hours each weekday evening with the boys but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t distract from those who matter most to me.
Time is flying by. Hello….. I have a high schooler. I’m definitely feeling the ‘time is slipping by and I need to make every minute count’ and it’s making me more aware of what I’m giving up to get on my phone. Is what I’m doing on my phone that important THAT minute? 75% of the time, when the boys are around, I would say what I was doing on the phone/computer was important but it wasn’t necessary to do at that exact minute. Maybe we need to go back to putting all our phones away for a few hours each night so we can focus on the present and not be tempted by every notification ding we hear.
The other night, John was laying in bed next to me and we were both on our phones. He nonchalantly said, “I love you mommy.” I set my phone down, roll over closer to him and grab his hand and tell him I love him too. He then starts laughing and says, “You do that every single time.” I didn’t know what he meant so I asked him to clarify. He said, “When we’re in bed, every time I say I love you, you stop what you’re doing on your phone, get closer to me, touch me and say I love you back.”
Gosh, kids are so quick to pick up on our patterns. I didn’t even realized I was doing it. But he’s right. I told him “with my business, I’m often working at odd hours and sometimes it takes my attention away from them. And I guess I have this habit you noticed at the end of the day because I want to make sure you know that YOU are my priority and not my phone. There are interesting things on my phone. There are funny jokes on my phone. There are pictures of what my friends did that I enjoy seeing on my phone. There are work emails on my phone. There is a lot on my phone but none is more important than you.”
The fact that he noticed made me feel good. Caught me off guard cause I didn’t realize I always did it but I loved that he realized it. There are lots of mamas and papas working more than me. There are lots of mamas and papas that don’t have the luxury to work from home like I do. Many parents may only have a few quality minutes with their kids each day. But the ones you have… make them count. Don’t be discouraged and busy wishing for more time. Enjoy the time you have. You can make a big impact on your kids’ lives in minutes by showing them love, allowing them to feel stability and structure with routine. The comfort and love I think John feels in those few seconds each night reminds me it’s not about the big gestures in life, it’s not about stuff, it’s about the consistent small moments that matter.
When I put my phone down, it matters.
Heather is the owner of Sweet Lemonade Photography and co-owner of Sweet Darling Weddings located in central Illinois (Mahomet). Life gave her a bunch of lemons (you can read a little more here) and by keeping her focus on God, finding the positive in each day, and surrounding herself with supporting, loving and encouraging people she has turned those lemons into the sweetest lemonade. This blog has been created to share her heart, her adventures and find ways to bless others. You can contact her at heather@sweetlemonadelife.com.
